We’re taking you on a trip to foreign lands, without ever leaving South Jersey.

 By: Carl Gersh & Lara Webb-Barrett

It’s a misunderstood land – even to the savviest culinary connoisseurs. That is, ethnic food. With myriad ethnic dining establishments in the South Jersey area – and more sprouting up each day – it’s time we venture into what may be unfamiliar territory for most.  Armed with merely fork, knife and pen (we’ll leave the Indian Jones horse whip at home, but are quite fond of the hat), we will dive into waters rarely navigated in these parts – and will emerge alive and deliciously satisfied to tell you about it.

As your guides on this savory safari, we ask you to remember one thing: Just because you don’t understand a menu – or the ingredients – does not mean you fear it. Repeat that last sentence a few times: it will be your new mantra.

Destination 1: Greece and Grecian Islands

Kuzina by Sofia Restaurant (Sawmill Shopping Center, Rt. 70 West, Cherry Hill)

Somewhere in a taverna in Greece, the men and women sit around a wooden table, shouting out orders of lamb, fish and octopus. Rarely, and unlike Americans, do Greeks examine a menu and ask for combo platter #7, with a side of soup.

Greeks eat rather whimsically in the native land, ordering whatever they’ve been craving that day, or whatever they recall as their favorite family dish. The servers make their way, plate by plate, delivering unheard of quantities of food to the table, at the mercy of the diners’ desires. Down plops another appetizer. Yet another entrée glides down to the tabletop. Soon, the table is overflowing with plates.

Tip # 1: Devote enough time to the dining experience. This is far from drive-thru speedy for a reason. The food is cooked-to-order, the way dining should be.

For this trip, leave your Gyro (pronounced “Yee-roh”” for those who were never sure – and you know who you are) order at the door. The gyro and souvalaki (both food items are warm pitas that wrap around everything from meat to vegetables and seafood) are considered ‘street food’ by most Greeks. Nothing wrong with ordering them, but it’s essentially the equivalent of American “fast food.”

The appetizers require you to elevate your palatal expectations. Open your mind whilst you open your mouth. For starters, try Sofia’s kalamaraki ghemisto psito, which is grilled calamari, stuffed with a blend of unique cheeses, drizzled with olive oil. A delicious dip is the taramosalata, which is cod roe mousse with finely chopped onion, olive oil and lemon (don’t turn your nose at this tasty mixture– you’ll be sorry you did). A first course is never complete without sampling the octopus, oktapodi psito, which is grilled to perfection and liberally bathed in olive oil and lemon and topped with wild oregano. Finally, seftalies, hailing from the hot appetizer section, are homemade ground beef, pork, onion, parsley and garlic meatballs – wrapped in lamb casing. Lamb casing is your friend; don’t think about it too long and just go for it.

Tip #2:  Think outside your dining box. Don’t shy from meats, cheeses or fish you may not be friends with yet. Let them into your life; you may be delightfully surprised.

On this visit, we enjoyed a few things that were admittedly outside our everyday dining arena – but we loved and reveled in each and every course. For main courses, don’t pass over the lamb shank kapama, braised in tomato sauce with a little cinnamon to spice (cinnamon is widely used in the cooking of meat in Greece). Also memorable is the giouvetsi me kreas kokinisto – beef medallions baked in a seasoned tomato sauce, topped with artesian orzo casserole and kefalotiri cheese.

Destination 2: Morocco

Cous Cous Restaurant (Barclay Shopping Center, Route 70 East, Cherry Hill) 

Upon entering Cous Cous, it’s hard not to half-expect to bump into Humphrey Bogart’s Rick Blain from “Casablanca.” More than just a restaurant, Cous Cous is a dining experience that every South Jersey diner should feel. The sexy landscape of dim lighting and many, many throw pillows with decadent fabrics call out to you as you head to your cozy table.

Just at the intersection of Sweet and Savory in ethnic food land, you’ll find Moroccan cuisine. Cous Cous offers an excellent selection of dishes characterized by Morocco’s rich spices. Spices, such as saffron, cumin, cilantro, harissa and coriander are often matched with sweet citrus fruit and/or cinnamon and sugar blends. Many diners may make the mistake of thinking that Moroccan food is spicy; this is incorrect. While Moroccan food favors spice, the cuisine is not spicy (read: not with a heat like Chile powder). 

Tip # 1: Order the 10 course Chef’s Sampler. It offers a little of everything and is an excellent value 

Commencing the meal is a tableside washing of the hands. Using lightly scented rosewater (acts as a cleansing agent), diners wash their hands prior to eating. While this may seem quaint, it’s also necessary, since traditional Moroccan meals are eaten by hand from communal plates. (Note: This is completely optional at Cous Cous, utensils are provided to all patrons.) 

Tip # 2: It’s more fun to eat with your hands; a traditional practice in Morocco.  

The first course is Harrira Soup, a light vegetable soup with a tomato base, parsley, cilantro, lentils and garbanzo beans and garnished with lemon. A marriage of citrus sweet is there, with just a delicate mixture of spice to complement. This is quickly followed by a Moroccan Salad Sampler, offering a selection of three cold salads: tangy carrot, cool cucumber, and piquant eggplant. Using your hands and the pita bread here; dig in and make it yours.  

Next is the Chicken Bastilla, often considered the national dish of Morocco. A thin, flaky pastry stuffed with pulled chicken, souffléd eggs and sliced almonds, topped with powdered sugar and cinnamon.

The Chicken Tajin is truly a revelation. Braised in a pot of broth with garlic and cumin and topped with preserved lemon, the juicy meat falls right off of the bone and makes your mother’s traditional roasted chicken seem dry and boring. 

The tender cuts of Lamb, stewed with Honey and Almonds is equally delicious. The tangy sweetness of the gravy provides perfect balance for the rich meatiness of the lamb. Even people who don’t normally like lamb may change their opinion after sampling this dish. 

As one of the only establishments in South Jersey offering it, ordering a Hookah Pipe is the highly recommended conclusion to any meal at Cous Cous. A hookah is a large water pipe, from which patrons smoke shisha, a mixture of tobacco, dried fruits, and molasses. A wide range of flavors are available in shisha, and range from natural fruit to the more exotic “fuzzy navel.”

Tip # 3: Don’t inhale the Hookah vapors. Hookah smoke is sweet to the taste, but best kept in the mouth, not the lungs. 

Unlike cigarettes and cigars, the tobacco content of shisha is relatively low and the smoke produced is very sweet to the tongue, refreshingly cooled by the ice water below, and is not acrid like other tobaccos. When using a hookah, patrons should not attempt to pull the vapors into their lungs. Instead, hookah vapors should remain in the mouth, where the flavor can be enjoyed, equaling a type of palate-cleansing after your meal. 

Destination 3: India

Monsoon Restaurant (Cambridge Crossing, Route 38 & Briggs Road, Mount Laurel) 

Many think of curry when considering Indian food, but relegating Indian cuisine to curry is like reducing Italian food to marinara sauce. India, with centuries of cross-cultural interactions, has benefited from numerous food influences. And, while many Indian dishes are spicy, a diner seeking less fiery fare can enjoy a plethora of options with nary a hit of heat. 

Walking into the elegant and sophisticated dining room at Monsoon, diners are reminded of how many of India’s cities, like Mumbai and Bangalore, are as modern and cosmopolitan as any in the world.  

Dinner begins with small basket of papadum, a flatbread cracker made from lentil flour. Savory with a crispy crunch, papadum is usually accompanied by two or three chutneys for dipping and is a great snack while perusing the menu.  

Tip # 1: The green chutney (coriander) is typically spicier than the red (tamarind) 

For appetizers, the vegetable samosa is always a good choice. These pyramid-shaped dumplings have a light, flaky crust and are filled with mildly spiced potatoes and peas. For those feeling more daring, the Papri Chaat is very tasty, too. Based on a common Indian street-dish, papri chaat is tossed combination of crispy lentil wafers, tender chickpeas, tangy chutney, and topped with cool yogurt – a study in contrasting flavors and textures that is unique and delicious.  

A staple of Indian dining is the tandoori menu. The tandoor, a very hot cylindrical clay oven, produces near-perfect grilled meats – succulent inside and crispy outside.  

Tip#2: Tandoori Chicken is a great choice for a first-timer. Its bright red hue may make it seem highly-seasoned, but it’s a mild grilled chicken dish. 

Indian is renowned for its spices and the menu provides ample dishes to prove why. The Chicken Tikka Masala arrives in a mild herb-infused tomato gravy that has a balanced savory sweetness. Turning up the heat is the Lamb Vindaloo, an entrée of comprised of tender lamb chunks braised in spicy curry-based gravy. Vindaloo is one of the hottest dishes on the menu, but it’s a good heat, and is recommended to anyone who likes spicy foods like buffalo wings. 

Tip # 3: Naan, a traditional Indian flatbread is a must for dipping in any of the flavorful sauces. It’s fairly large, so two naan is often enough for a table of four. 

A recommended accompaniment to any Indian repast is Biryani, a dish made with long grain rice studded with vegetables. Typically served with Raita, a cool creamy yogurt condiment, Byriani is an excellent complement to any of the sauce-based entrees, especially the spicier ones.  

Found on the vegetarian menu, Paneer is a non-melting farmer cheese that is typically cubed and served in gravy. Similar to feta cheese, its flavor is much milder. Popular paneer dishes include Saag Paneer, which comes mixed with herb-enriched creamed spinach; and Paneer Makhani, which is simmered in a tomato and honey based gravy. 

Who knows where our travels will take us, as we prepare for our next tasty excursion? Log onto Rosettaspoon.com to find out about our next embarkation.

If you’ve ever had your kid pee on you,

This Saturday, May 9, Scottish Rite Auditorium,
Cocktails at 6:30. Stand-up Comedy Show at 8:00 PM

TICKETS ON SALE NOW at ticketmaster.com – and are GOING FAST.
Portion of proceeds to help Austism Speaks Organization.
GET YOURS TICKETS NOW!

What You’re In For:

For one night only, “One Funny Mother” – Dena Blizzard – will tell it like it is. Dena has performed ALL OVER the country, including gigs from Atlantic City to Vegas. Now, she’s bringing all the funny of Motherhood to South Jersey… the night before Mother’s Day this week.

“One Funny Mother,” hailed by the Courier-Post as a “relevant show about the joys – and horrors – of modern motherhood,” starts at 8 pm, Saturday, May 9, at the Scottish Rite Theater in Collingswood, with a cocktail hour at 6:30 pm. Tickets are just $25, and can be purchased by visiting www.ticketmaster.com or by calling the Scottish Rite Theatre at 856-858-1000.

Ticket price includes delicious wine, smooth jazz by the Robin Filippone Jazz Trio, delicious appetizers, Bayard’s chocolates, mouth-watering Lollypop’s ice cream, relaxing massages by Louis Christian Wayne Robert – and of course, the funniest show you’ve ever seen about Motherhood.

“One Funny Mother” is an uproarious, truthful look at the daily life of the American woman. Dena’s perspective on marriage, motherhood and the unrealistic perfection that is thrust upon women is hilarious. And, if we didn’t already say it, it’s for MATURE AUDIENCES only. So don’t come crying to us if you thought this was some kind of love-in.

If you’ve ever stayed up all night with a sick kid, fought your husband over who works harder, or had a kid pee on you, then this show (and Vodka) are for you!!!

Women, come to escape your MEN. Men, buy your woman a ticket to escape YOU. Or better yet…bring your wife and find out why she’s nuts. Either way, get to this show and finally enjoy a REAL night out – where a woman can be herself and can always go back to faking it tomorrow.

ABOUT DENA BLIZZARD:
Dena first garnered attention in 1995 as Miss New Jersey in the Miss America Pageant, where she proudly ranked in the “Top 50.” Since then she has worked as a television host, writer, mother, and comedienne.Dena has enjoyed performing for audiences at Paula Deen’s cooking show “Paula’s Party” on the Food Network, as well as, for Emeril Lagasse. She has previously hosted “Real Simple TV” on PBS based on Real Simple magazine and this past year performed stand-up at the United Nations.On the lighter side, Dena’s greatest joy is stand-up comedy. Her comedic take on marriage, motherhood and Miss America has garnered her the title “One Funny Mother”. In 2008, Dena launched her one-woman show “One Funny Mother:I’m Not Crazy” to rave reviews and will begin touring her show around the country this year. Dena happily juggles the struggles of raising three young children while pursuing her comedy career. She and her husband reside in New Jersey…and yes, people say she looks like Sandra Bullock and Eva Longoria. Both of which makes Dena very happy.

Special thanks to sponsors: Louis Christian Wayne Robert Salon and Spa, Bayards Chocolates, Parente Randolph, Robin Filippone Jazz Trio and the Courier-Post. For more information on becoming a show sponsor, contact us.

Classical greatness coming close to home...

I remember my first trip to see the Philadelphia Orchestra play. It was the year 19-something-or-other and I was in 8th grade, traveling with the Pennsauken Middle School’s Selective Chorus. I sang second soprano. With this chorus, we made many unforgettable trips to recieve our infusions of culture and the arts, but by far the orchestra left me with goosebumps – and a still firey, burning passion for classical music.

I couldn’t help but feel that I would never get the chance to hear such emotion through musical instruments ever again.  At the tender age of 13, one thinks she’ll never have the money to afford such a trip in the future, unsponsored by a school.  It was a golden evening. I thought, this sound,  this chill that climbs up your back and buries itself somewhere deep in your memory, can’t actually be live.  Surely, they will make a mistake, or play out of tune. There were so many musicians; it wasn’t possible for them all to come together to sound so… perfect.  You long to bring that experience with you everywhere, and the culture you absorb helps to define and refine your taste in virtually everything cultural. 

I would hear the Orchestra again, thankfully while in High School. After that, I would be blessed with the opportunity while Editor-in-Chief to meet some of the musicians in my own backyard.  Later, I would meet Symphony in C, the orchestral group that now plays on our side of the bridge in Camden. I keep these musical experiences, each and every one with which I am blessed, close to my heart and cherished.

Imagine my delight when The Markeim Arts Center, right in Haddonfield, announced it would be offering, on the norm, world-class musical acts and art exhibitions.

The Markeim Arts Center indeed has undergone a transformation of incredible magnitude, as the renovation of the interior and exterior of the building have made the gallery now a destination for those who want culture. We don’t want to travel to New York or Philadelphia in order to get our cultural fix.

I feel as if I struck the lottery when I heard there would be “An Evening at the Markeim,” on Friday, April 3, 2009, featuring music by famed Philadelphia Orchestra violinist and concertmaster, David Kim. The concert on April 3rd not only offers the musical genius Juilliard-schooled of Mr. Kim, but he will be accompanied by internationally-acclaimed violinist Sonya Ovrutsky and Haddonfield’s own remarkable violinist, Robyn Bollinger.

Classical music – in a venue so intimate – by such genius: it’s cultural heaven. I will almost feel like I can reach out and touch the musicians. Luckily for them, there will be no touching from me involved.  But I can still feel the music, live and up close.

This night of elegant music will be followed by the exceptional art exhibition “Trio” from Bill Marlin, Lois Lewis-Schumm, Fred Schumm. Later on, enjoy delectable confections and beverages, featured in Markeim’s “Art of Dessert.”

It’s no secret that the South Jersey landscape has changed for certain. Many of used to have to go over the bridge for quality anything – except fresh produce, of course. We were obviously devoid, years ago, of fine dining and shopping,  and we’ve tackled that problem with fervor. For so long, we were missing some other very important things – a cultural fabric that would entice visitors from all parts of the Northeast region.

We desired quality venues to appreciate fine food, exquisite art, and classical music in the same house. Markeim Arts Center is definitely delivering on that longing.  Music, and art and desserts, oh my. I may never leave the tiny town of Haddonfield.

Thankfully for those in South Jersey who enjoy the finer things, we have been blessed with one place that offers it all on one night in Markeim’s “An Evening at the Markeim.” No trips to the Big Apple, no parking wars to battle in Philly. Enjoying culture close to home has never been this easy – or this grand.

If you are a fellow member of the press, complimentary ticket information is available by responding to this blog post. If you just want to join me for a classic evening, tickets can be purchased by calling 856-429-8585. Tell ‘em Lara sent ya.  Or, you can grab them by visiting www.markeimartscenter.org.

The days of hopscotch are long dead,
The freshly-created pavement flowers and rainbows are fleeting.

They don’t know that the dust still settles
On the lonely concrete street after their sleepy heads lie

Their hands still show suspicion of blue and pink chalk,
Remnants of a day when they felt they would be forever alive

Before the light of the sun can kiss them,
Pink clouds and names remain
Embedded in a kingdom of concrete

Into your memory, those rainbows and backwards-spelled names, they will go
Into your memory, those numbers written sloppily with fervor, they will go

And the rain wishes it could cleanse it clean.
The sun burns with all its fury to counteract the promise of the young.
The winds blow as if efforts of small hands were futile.
Wishing away the chalk-colored dreams
A small young boy or girl’s promise, who asks for a challenge
Nature knows not what it does.

The young minds don’t know the vengeance of spring rainstorm.
How harsh the sun that bakes; an unforgiving oven
How strong the winds, how brutal the swiftly moving air of change
How fleeting images and words can be.

The rains will try with all their pounding,
To erase the chalk lines.
The sun will come to dry up their imagination
With all its heat.
The winds will swipe the dust from their concrete playground.

But their dreams are drawn on the permanent
The fertile grounds of their being.
Still in the never ending memory of those that love.

Yet, their dreams are not ours.
They are not jaded, they are not without hope.
They are not cynical, they are not judgmental.

They draw with chalk.

They know their legacy is more than a hand that meets the pavement.
They write, they dream, in the face of everything fleeting or random.

They express, even if the blue and pink dust is all that remains.
They dream.
Like there is a tomorrow.

We waited with baited breath as Obama battled the naysayers, as he tried to pass his budget plan. We were lifted with each and every inspirational phrase he imparted, such as “it’s not going to be easy…it’s a long road… and we’ll all have to do our part,” which injected us with an unparalleled fervor to find a new way. A change. We need to do work. We need to man-up and make a difference, and we cannot sit back and wait for it to happen.

We understood now is not the time to take a vacation from our struggles. Nearly an entire nation was engaged by his call to action. We heard him, loud and clear, like a frieght train a-runnin’.  Loud enough for an historical record-number of Americans to attend his inaugural ceremony. America wants a change. America needs a change. Change. Change. Change. It’s time for CHANGE.  “The Change We Need.” That’s what he said, repeatedly.  That was the whole crux of his pitch to us. We all have to work hard. No slackers allowed. We all drank the Kool Aid and said, “Yes! Let’s work hard! Together, we can make a change, but we have to be willing to work hard.”

Last week, Obama was chilling at a Chicago Bulls game. As a spectator. Courtside.

It’s the darkest days of our economy. Our American fabric has been almost been torn to shreds and we are watching our loved ones go through the hardest financial times they have seen in their lifetime. We our watching our family members, after 25 years of service to a company, search for up to a year or more – even for simple office work. We have labored right along with the ones we hold dear to our hearts, and watched as they decided whether they would take their ten extra dollars to buy a knock-off DVD they wanted or decide instead to put those dollars into the family piggy bank for the unexpected, forgoing all luxury.  In the interim, our “Chief” is taking in a mean game of ball.

Katie Couric recently had lunch with the President. She said, empathetically of our new President and his entourage, “They have been really handed a very difficult situation -but he is calm. The whole world may be falling apart, but he gives the impression…” She didn’t finish her sentence, but you know how she wanted to finish. The truth is, he was too cool and relaxed. How many people do you know that are jobless or struggling to make their mortgages, or are distraught how they will pay for childcare who would NOT look like the world is falling apart right now? Not many.

So, when I listened to the press, and I saw that the topic of conversation was Obama, our President, our Commander-in-Chief, the leader of the free world, had taken the day off to absorb the subtleties of a fine game of the NBA, you can imagine how I felt. And, not one American missed it. Letterman even mentioned it in his monologue last night.

The point is, no doubt, everyone loves a good game. Yes. Every sports enthusiast likes a damn good game of ball. And, hey, we would all go if we had money to blow – or the time to do it. That is, when we’re not looking to find new clients and revenue for our respective businesses.  Or trying to rob Peter to pay Paul.  Right now, his PR people should be kicking themselves.

Though I voted for Obama, and was moved by his speeches – moved to action and to motivate others – I was dejected when I saw him supporting his favorite team - and not supporting us at the oval office. Or somewhere at a factory, supporting workers. Or at a hospital talking to folks who can’t afford medical treatment. Obama’s poignantly-painted vignettes of the struggling American “doing our part” are a bit lost on me when I see our leader kicking back, without a care in the world, sitting in NBA basketball game seats that half of America can’t afford- or maybe could have afforded at some point – but not since their 401K took a triple gainer dive.

It’s not even two months into Obama’s leadership, and he’s already showing us that he is taking time off, when we can’t afford to. Sure, we get that he is the everyman’s man. We get that he is going places and doing things. Kissing babies. Shaking hands. Maybe event doing “his part” sometimes.  

But right now, we don’t want him out to lunch. It’s like your husband playing poker with his friends, when he hasn’t yet taken out the trash. Or, you wife, not tending to her newborn, because she is out in search of a good sale at Macy’s on designer make-up.

I couldn’t help but wonder… Is THIS what you want America to see right now, Barack? Obama has more work on his plate, for which he signed up, which should keep him busy for years. There should be no time for fancy seats at basketball games, with press airing for all the world to see. Our unemployment rate is skyrocketing. I did my own survey – most of my friends and colleagues say 1 in 4 of people they speak to are out of work.

Don’t get me wrong. I am sure the President is allowed off-time here and there. But his job is not 9-5. Even most of American workers have to work at least two to three months before they get benefits. Not to mention how long it takes for them to accumulate vacation days. Obama doesn’t get the luxury right now for a playdate, if he has not yet proven himself.

After all of the pomp and circumstance – and money he spent on his inaugural festivities – it’s hard to believe that his public relations specialists would allow him to be photographed and reported to be having fun at a sporting event. Frankly, two months into the term, he hasn’t earned that privilege. Honestly, just like all of America that is challenging this hard path about which he once spoke, there is no time for complacency. There is no time for inaction. We don’t have time for frolicking. And, we certainly don’t want to hear about our fearless leader bumming about at a Bulls game right now.

It’s like finding your child, who should be hard at work at school, in the basement playing Wii, after claiming he’s sick, but saying, ”Mom I really wish I were at school.” It’s like calling out of work and having your boss discovering you gorging on Cinnabons at the local mall food court. The only difference is, in those two cases, the people probably have actually put more time in than our own President. Our kids and our workers deserve a game of ball more than he does.

Mr. President, if you want to go out to enjoy yourself, you are certainly allowed. But take a poll next time and see what that image is shoving into the face of Americans who can’t make ends meet – let alone afford to go to an NBA game.

Did we see Roosevelt kibitzing around town with socialites, while working on the New Deal for middle-class Americans? Do we have record of Lincoln playing cards while he fretted about the emancipation of slaves?  Sure, Lincoln got shot in a theater, but his work was proven by then. Obama going to a basketball game now? No, I don’t think so. It’s just bad public image.

Hollywood actors are allowed to be shown on PanaVision at their favorite games. They probably worked really hard on their last movie or television series. And, you know what, we don’t really care that they are overpaid for their profession. What’s more, our livelihood does not depend on their work ethic.

But our President is not an actor, and certainly hasn’t worked hard or long enough to flaunt frivolity in the face of Americans. Not when most of the working world aren’t working enough to pay for play. I hope, for Obama’s sake, that his team won that night. I don’t recall the score. But I do know that it will take him much longer to win me over.

This Webb-Barrett blog, being freshly prepared and grilled to your liking, will soon to be tantalizing your literary palate. You’ll always find me here, serving up some delicious musings. As a sidedish, you’ll also stumble upon archived gems from my previous columns as an editor of SJ Magazine and Editor-in-Chief of South Jersey Magazine.

The best part? My new blogs and insights, on everything from the everyday to the absurd, now will be uncensored by magazine publishers, unafraid of offending sensibilities, and will shoot straight from the hip. 

For my old ‘fans’ from my magazine days – thanks for your continued support and endless encouragement through the years. For newcomers, thanks for stopping by – and hope to see you back this way again soon… Gotta get the garnish…

LWB